Wil came home in April of 2000, but it didn't last for long. He had started to vomit within the second week of being home and we had taken him to the Emergency Room ( local hospital) and he was admitted for the weekend due to dehydration and low electrolytes. When he was better we took him home. He would occasionally vomit, but he didn't seem to be getting any worse. We had a nurse come to our home weekly, thank God for that. Two weeks after the emergency room ordeal Wil's nurse came for her scheduled visit and I told her that Wil didn't seem to be doing very well that morning. He had started to vomit in the middle of the night and by that morning he had vomitted about 2 -3 times. I had called the doctor and made an appointment for later that day. She took one look at him and told me to take him in immediately. She checked his vitals and sent me on my way. She said that he had a grey tint to him. I didn't notice until she had said something. Maybe it was because I was with him while he worsened or because I was extremely tired or it could be that I just didn't want him to be sick. I remember his eyes looked sunk in a bit but beyond that I didn't notice his coloring. Of course now I'm a pro at all the signs of dehydration, Wil has experienced enough of it. We catch it pretty early now. It's crazy how quickly he could get bad. The day before we were in Indy for a check up.
Once we got him to the pediatrician's office, his doctor saw him, took him, and we followed him through the office cooridors into the hospital into Peds ICU. They intubated him and put him in an ambulance to Indianapolis ( children's hospital). Later his doctor told me that he didn't know if Wil was going to make it. His dehydration had been so severe that his potassium had dropped into low enough levels that he could of gone into cardiac arrest.
That day was a breaking point for me. I remember sitting in our car in the hospital parking lot with my husband and for the first time since Wil was born, I lost it. I screamed at God and believe it or not gave Him an ultimatim, "Heal my son or take him, I can't live this way." I dropped my face into my hands and loudly sobbed. We didn't have the money for another stay. Food, gas, a place to stay, seperation from my husband and son (who knows who I am) - I couldn't do it again. Bryan had already missed a lot of work due to Wil and he couldn't keep taking time off, we couldn't afford it. Saige hated me for leaving him the first time and when he found that Wil had gone back to the hospital *far away* he cried and cried and screamed and screamed.
This all happened on a Thursday so we decided to wait until Friday night when Bryan got off work to go to the hospial. We spent the weekend sleeping in waiting rooms or in the car in the parking garage. The Ronal McDonald House was full and we were coming back home Sunday night. We decided that we would see Wil every weekend and throughout the week I'd go for a day or two. Wil was admitted into the Peds ICU and needed to get his electrolytes back to normal. The first few days were hairy but he did improve. Later that week Wil had an endoscopy to help find out why he was vomitting so much, they found out that he had acid reflux.
Ironically I also had to have an endoscopy around the same time. After giving birth to Wil every once in a while I would suffer from severe abdominal pain that wrapped around into my back and it was hard to breath. I thought I was having anxiety attacks . . . yeah . . . it wasn't. The pain had become so severe that I finally went to the hospital ( a week after Wil was admitted) and found out that I had gall stones stuck in my bile duct and my gall bladder wasn't doing too well either. Actually, the rest of me was starting to swell up! So while I laid in the hospital for a weekend my son was also laying in a hospital 110 miles away. I lost it again! Timing was terrible or so I thought. I wasn't suppose to be in a vehicle for about 2 weeks. So I called every nurses shift every day to find out how Wil was doing. Sometimes I think God allowed it to happen so I had a reason to stay home and people wouldn't judge me or so I wouldn't judge myself. As much as I loved Wil Saige needed me too. I felt that I was always forced to chose between my children. I hated that. Wil stayed in the hospital for about 6 weeks and he finally came home again. The picture above was taken after Wil had come home. He was about 6 months old and weighed about 9 lbs.
1 comment:
Sara, regardless of what you may think, you are by far the strongest woman I know! I honestly don't think I'd have made it through all you've been through. You know that saying, "God doesn't give you more than he thinks you can handle?", well... he must know you well! :0)
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