15) A growing family...

The next year went much slower for us, referring to hospital stays. There was the occasional 'dehydration' event but other than that we had traveled down a new road on our journey.

In Indiana there is an organization called 'First Steps'. They handled all of Wil's therapies until he was three. Wil received Physical, Occupational, and Speech therapy. We have so many warm memories of his therapists. They were so instrumental for us and for Wil. When you have someone in your home one to three times a week you can't help but bond with them. They become part of your world, your family. It was Wil's speech therapist who helped in getting him to actually try to eat food. The first thing that he ever ate and swallowed were M&M's. This must explain Wil's chocolate addiction. Wil also had a nurse come once a week for about two years. She would check his weight and his vitals. It was sad when she didn't need to come anymore, I really looked forward to her visits. Yet at the same time it was nice to know that that much care wasn't needed anymore either.

In December of 2001, two days after Christmas, I delivered our third son, Asher, via c-section. Every thing worked out perfectly. Except that the doctor told me that I had too much scar tissue and advised me not to have anymore children. I cried. Bryan smiled. lol I think that I was upset because I wanted to make that decision not my body. When Asher was a couple months old Bryan had an appointment with an urologist and needless to say we will not have any more children (unless it's totally by 'divine design'). A month after Asher was born Wil turned two. He also started to crawl right before Asher was born. We were all so excited. He looked like a 5 month old baby, it was too cute.

At that time we weren't feeding Wil on a continuous drip anymore. We fed him several ounces every three to four hours. This was nice because he didn't need to be attached to the tube 24/7. It was a difficult time parenting - having a four year old, a two year old (that physically was 6-9 mos.), and a newborn. Both Wil and Asher required a lot of attention and a lot of work. To make matters worse I went through post partem depression. Poor Saige, he had such a rough time during his toddler years. My heart still breaks for him. I am so thankful that God gave him such a great disposition. What a blessing!

I remember trying to take everyone shopping....what a disaster. I didn't do that again unless I had another adult with me. There was no way I could push around two carts by myself. I could take them all shopping if I were only to buy around five items - but why would I make all of us go out for five items!? Quite a few things had to change in our everyday lives. During this year I felt like we were the most abnormal family. I remember trying to control my jealousy of other families whose lives were 'normal'. They could go on vacations, day trips, even the store or out to eat and it wasn't a hassle. For us everything was a hassle. I got to the point I didn't even like to leave the house. The depression I talked about in an earlier post had gotten worse.

As stressful as that time was, it was also wonderful. I really enjoyed Saige's pre-school years. Wil was on the small side but he behaved in many retrospects like a normal toddler. Knowing that Asher was my last baby, I really made sure that I took enough pictures and learned to let go of alot of things (like the dishes, laundry, etc.) so I could spend more time with him. Someday I may write a blog about all of the crazy things that Asher has done over the years. In some cases taking care of Wil was easier and less stressful than taking care of Asher!!

14) The longest day ever...

The day had come! Wil's 'big' surgery was finally here, May of 2001. We were nervous about the surgery yet excited at the possibilities that lay ahead. The pictures below show what Wil looked like before surgery. Remember 'the beginning' pictures when the doctors had to put skin grafts over Wil's abdomen. The left pic is that skin. The right pic shows his bladder and urethra. The bladder is split in two and the urethra is in the middle and looks like a flat tongue. There is a dimple where his rectum should be. At this time Wil had still never had a bath, well, he had never been submerged into water (bathtubs, swimming, etc.). We had to be careful that nothing came in contact with his bladder. It was always nerve racking when his ostomy bag leaked. Also at this time Wil still could not move by himself. He was unable to crawl and rolling was difficult. It was hard to believe that he was a year and half old. His mobility was delayed by his severe hip displasia. If you look at the pics below you can see how his hips lay out. At the time it was impossible to close his legs (leg to leg could not touch). I remember right before the surgery Saige was worried that they were going to take his legs and not give them back so the nurses let him mark both of Wil's feet with a marker so when the surgery was over he would be able to tell that the legs were still Wil's. It was cute!


The surgery went well, it lasted about 14 hours (if memory serves correctly). I just remember that it started in the early morning and he wasn't in ICU until about 10 that night. It was one of the longest days we've ever had. The orthopedic surgeon said that Wil would have to be in traction for at least 3 - 4 weeks. (they cut his hips apart and realigned them). The doctors did not want any movement from Wil because they wanted his hips to heal correctly, they had him paralyzed and sedated for the 3-4 weeks. Unfortunately, because of the medications he was on plus the surgery he was very swollen (water retention) and doubled in size. The nurses tried to rotate his head but unfortunately either the first few days of recovery or while the surgery was going on Wil had gotten a bed sore on the back of his head. It took months to heal and to this day he has a scar a little bit bigger than a half dollar and no hair in that area. Just a little souvenir from that day. The picture below is a pic of Wil in traction. The had his legs hanging as close to a 90 degree angle as possible. His stomach situation made it difficult to actually be at 90 degrees but they did what they were able to do with what they were given.
The top picture below is showing Wil's stomach. The surgeons had to apply the skin graft again to heal over his abdomen. I remember the plastic surgeon saying we've done this surgery twice now at this hospital and both times have been on Wil. The bottom pic show that his bladder is now closed up. They put the bladder together as well as the urethra. They had a catheter in at the time.

During this time I was once again seperated from Bryan and Saige. I was staying at the Ronald McDonald house again. I'm so thankful for that place. Anyway, I found out that we were pregnant. It was not a planned pregnancy and I was terrified of having to take care of Wil and a newborn and even more terrified that this baby could have some problems too. The timing (for me) was not good, I cried the night I found out and the next day called Bryan, he was really quiet. We both were terrified of anymore responsibility and the possibility of having to go through all of this again or just going through all of this with a newborn. It took a few weeks to adjust and to respond to the situation the right way, the way we should of at first, just trust in the Lord. Easy as it sounds it's one of the most difficult things to do. After several weeks Wil was able to come out of his medicated 'coma'. It took another three weeks to fully recover to come home. We spent Saige's fourth birthday in Indy this summer. We took him to the Indianapolis zoo and the next day we found a Chuckee Cheese and then went to Dairy Queen for an ice cream cake. My brother had his second child (Mason) while we were in the hospital too. It was a very eventful summer. We were all so happy to come home!